I like glitter and sparkly dresses,
But I’m not gonna talk about that
In my monologue
I like baking and things that smell like winter,
But I’m not gonna talk about that
In my monologue
La la la, la la la
I like writing songs about douche bags who cheat on me,
But I’m not gonna say that
In my monologue
I like writing their names into songs so they’re ashamed to go in public,
But I’m not gonna say that
In my monologue
La la, la la la la la
This is my musical monologue
You might think I’d bring up Joe,
The guy who broke up with me on the phone,
But I’m not gonna mention him
In my monologue
Hey Joe! I’m doing real well,
Tonight I’m hosting SNL
But I’m not gonna brag about that
In my monologue
La la la, ha ha ha
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha
La la la
And if you’re wondering if I might,
Be dating the werewolf from Twilight,
(Hi Taylor!)
I’m not gonna comment on that
In my monologue
La la, la la la la la
This is my musical monologue
You might be expecting me to say
Something bad about Kanye
And how he ran up on the stage
And ruined by VMA monologue…..
But there’s nothing more to say
Cause everything’s okay
I’ve got security lining this stage
This is my SNL monologue
La la, la la la la la
This is my SNL monologue
La la, la la la la la
That was my SNL monologue
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