Class

MATRON(Spoken)
The whole world’s gone low-brow. Thing’s ain’t what
they used to be.

VELMA(Spoken)
They sure ain’t, Mama. They sure ain’t it’s all gone.

(Singing)
Whatever happened to fair dealing?
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now os a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

MATRON
Class.
Whatever happened to, “Please, may I?”
And, “Yes, thank you?”
And, “How charming?”
Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass
Whatever happened to class?

VELMA AND MATRON
Class!
Ah, there ain’t no gentlemen
To open up the doors
There ain’t no ladies now,
There’s only pigs and whores
And even kids’ll knock ya down
So’s they can pass
Nobody’s got no class!

VELMA
Whatever happened to old values?

MATRON
And fine morals?

VELMA
And good breeding?

MATRON
Now, no one even says “oops” when they’re
Passing their gas
Whatevcer happened to class?

VELMA
Class

VELMA AND MATRON
Ah, there ain’t no gentlemen
That’s fit for any use
And any girl’d touch your privates
For a deuce

MATRON
And even kids’ll kick your shins and give you sass

VELMA
And even kids’ll kick your shins and give you sass

VELMA AND MATRON
Nobody’s got no class!

VELMA
All you read about today is rape and theft

MATRON
Jesus Christ, ain’t there no decency left?

VELMA AND MATRON
Nobody’s got no class!

MATRON
Every guy is a snot!

VELMA
Every girl is a twat!

MATRON
Holy shit

VELMA
Holy shit

MATRON
What a shame

VELMA
What a shame

VELMA AND MATRON
What became of class?