Calgone

On my way home, police car pulled me over

After they left, I puttered out of gas.
‘Triple-A’ came, but my card was expired!
I had to walk home, and of course, it rained half the time.
I tried to get some shut-eye, then I was abducted!

They put cold things in my butt.
They sampled a bit of my D.N.A.
They left me on top of my sheets,
I dreamt I went potty, then woke up drenched in me.

This day sucked the hardest ever…

Chorus:
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.
A little bit less than nothing would go my way.

I got up to toss my soiled sheets,
The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe.
It was then that I sensed the irony (burning me),
Then I heard a voice say,
“Come sail aboard S.S. Nepenthe!”

I suppose I’m to blame for getting pulled over.

Chorus

Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds!

I guess I’m the culprit for running out of gas.
Let’s assume I’m the guy who didn’t pay his ‘Triple-A’ fee.
In actuality, I let the zetas probe me.
Yesterday was all my fault.
I let negativity get the better of me.
Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds!
They temporarily set free this quandary.

Chorus x 2